…You can’t keep hanging out with the turkeys
Take a good look at your circle of friends.
Do you know you are the average of the 5 people you associate most with?
It has actually nothing to do with your intelligence level, your ambition, your talents, or your goals.
The people who are closest to you will ultimately determine your success…or your lack of it.
However, therein lies the root of the problem.
Far too many people are tethered to one part of their lives and either can’t or just won’t let go.
This is of course, a disaster waiting to happen.
How can progress happen when one is so firmly entrenched either in the past, to a particular idea or a particular opinion?
Nothing kills progress as effectively as the refusal to accept new possibilities for old notions.
You will just stay… STUCK!!
If you keep believing the same old shit, you will always smell of the same old crap.
So make no mistake about it – the first changes that need to happen are within us.
It’s too easy to point fingers, blame Fate, bitch and cry about circumstance…and never budge from where your ass is planted.
It’s only your way of equating with not dealing with the situation.
Because that involves action – and everyone knows action means work.
Who wants to work to achieve anything? Right?
So you just come up with a reason not to do anything.
Because if you admitted that change is entirely within your reach and your own decision…then you would have to do something about it.
Stepping outside your comfort zone is fucking tough.
No two ways about that.
I am telling you right now it’s going to take a sizeable leap of faith to let go of what you know and venture into the unknown.
But the voyage into the unknown is the only true way to discover yourself.
Fail to do it and fail to achieve.
You fail to grow. You fail to evolve. You fail to BECOME!
In my job, I meet a lot of people who face this dilemma.
I can’t help but see how it affects them, how being stuck in one place eats them from the inside and severely restricts their emotional, spiritual and mental growth.
It really does NOT have to be this way.
So let’s do something about it.
Right the fuck now, funk soul brotha, to incorrectly paraphrase a certain Mr Fatboy Slim.
Here is a list of some of the things you need to dump TODAY if you are ever to get to someplace worthwhile in your life.
Putting too much stock into what others think
Isn’t it wonderful how someone else is always an expert about what you should and should not do?
If they were so fucking smart, wouldn’t they be amazingly successful, rich and happy?
But they are not.
However everyone is always ready to piggy back on someone else’s misery.
The problem happens when you actually do listen to these pocket professors and think that what they say actually counts!
Now, let’s get on thing clear.
I’m not saying to not listen to good advice; you always need to keep an eye out for that.
What I am saying is to stop trying to do what everyone tells you to do.
Stop making other people’s opinions so important and do the right thing.
You will never please everyone – and you should not even be trying to anyway.
So you failed… so fucking what?
Failures are the stepping stones along the journey of success.
If you do not fail, you are not trying hard enough.
Success will only come from finding the strength to get up one more time than you are knocked down.
And that will only come from the increased resilience and strength you get through facing your own failures.
So embrace failures as the opportunity for success – NEVER as a reason to chickenshit your way out of the equation.
Failing to set definite goals
How can you get to where you are going – if you do not know where you are going?
It might seem like a ridiculously simple premise but it is staggering how many people actually have no idea where they are going in life. They have no set direction. They have no clearly defined purpose.
They just go around, fumbling around, feeling their way blindly in the dark, hoping to get somewhere.
Which might work for some purpose at a party filled with delectable ladies – but it sure as hell isn’t going to get you anywhere in life.
So…make a decision and SET YOUR GOAL.
Decide where you want to go. Do what you love. Be passionate about what you do. Give it your all.
It creates the goodwill, the energy and the love you need to propel you forward.
You will never get tired of what you love doing and you will always do something you love to the best of your ability.
I’ll do it tomorrow
Procrastination is a killer of all good intentions and the best of plans.
Nothing gets done tomorrow. It’s a pipe dream for failure.
Think about it =- yesterday, you said tomorrow, didn’t you?
Ever had the urge to start a training program?
Course you did.
You might even have gone out and visited a gym and checked out the options.
Then you went home to “think about it”.
3 years later you are still thinking about it – on a bigger ass and a higher chance of health problems.
So who are you fooling? Get off your ass and get shit done.
Imperfect action is far better than perfect inaction.
Once you allow something to sit, it suddenly dwindles and becomes less important in your mind, and you’ll never get it done.
I’ll wait and see
This is the direct result of procrastination.
You tell yourself you will wait and see, when you are actually deciding to do nothing at all.
What does doing nothing get you? Duh! Nothing at all, Doc.
It’s lulls you into a deadly negativity that stifles every possibility of achieving anything of note.
You turn into a fucking cabbage – sitting down, doing nothing and being nothing.
So, what are you going to do about it?
Just flip that switch over!
Get something done, anything at all.
Start small. Break into into manageable steps.
Then smack it till it squeals.
When you are done, move on to the next one.
And the next.
If you have to choose between nothing and living – choose to be ALIVE!
Choosing to be obdurate
No one likes to be wrong.
But no one is right all the time.
At one point or another, you are going to fuck up.
However, if you base yourself and your personal worth around the idea that you need to be right all the time, you are heading into a brick wall at 120mph.
And it’s going to HURT when you smash into it.
Be convinced of what you say – but NEVER dispense with the idea that you may indeed be wrong.
Keep your mind open to the possibility – and never stop listening and learning.
Shoving problems under the carpet
Hey, no one likes facing problems. They suck.
But sweeping problems under the carpet is a dumb thing to do.
Untended problems tend to fester and rot and grow bigger and more problematic.
They may be out of sight, but they will not be out of mind.
It is best to just attack situations immediately.
Pucker up and get it done.
You will have to do it at some point anyway – if you think running away from a problem is going to make it magically go away, you need to stop sniffing those glue fumes.
No you DON’T know.
You know shit.
If you know it, you wouldn’t have fucked up.
Stop using excuses to justify your fuckups.
It is just preventing you from actually taking responsibility for your actions.
You need to admit you DON’T know, and you need to get down and dirty and fix things.
Make decisions and execute them!
Leave the excuses to those who will spend the rest of their lives wondering why they aren’t getting anywhere in life.
“I know!” is one of the most dangerous phrases I can think of in the English language.
Makes me want to smack someone when I hear it.
Even worse – sometimes I say that myself too!! The deadly seduction of wanting to make yourself a victim, despite apparently knowing better, will ruin you.
Thinking you are not good enough
Way too many people will not even attempt to do something because they believe that they will fail.
This notion of incapability comes from a deep-rooted sense of lack of self belief in their own competence.
So, what happens when you “know” you will fail?
You won’t even try anything, right? What’s the use?
In this way, you are killing your options before they have even had a chance to flower and turn into something beautiful.
The truth is, every single one of us has the power to be amazing.
Yes, even if you think you are the biggest schmuck on the planet, equipped with only left limbs, and with the personality of a doormat.
That power to shine lies inside us, deep down in places where we do not bother (or dare) to look.
We only need to have the courage to reach down hard enough and show it the light of day.
You ARE good enough. You are incredible.
Prove it to yourself.
Do it TODAY! What do you have to lose???
The glass is always half full
A lot of people just see negatives in their life.
They are unlucky.
They were left out at work when it came to promotions.
They always get the short end of the stick.
They deserve better.
They didn’t win the lottery –some rat who didn’t need the money did.
It’s a non stop litany of the recital of all the negatives they can think of.
And what does all of that do?
It just blankets all the good things in their lives.
People like this have so much smoke coming out of their ass, they can’t see the beauty of what is in front of them.
They do not appreciate the miracle of being able to get out of bed in the morning and look at the light of day.
They are so busy running on the treadmill of life, they do not spend enough time with their kids and they miss out on the most beautiful of relationships.
They are so busy fantasizing about other partners, they do not realize how much their current partner loves them and how irreplaceable that love is.
So – it’s time to drop the negatives out of your life.
For every negative you think you can see, try to find two positives.
You will be amazed at the beauty around you that you never saw before when you start doing that.
Life is what happens while we are busy making other plans
Everyone has big plans in life.
I’ll buy me a Ferrari.
I’ll take a month’s long holiday in Hawaii.
I’ll walk down the red carpet in a designer tuxedo –eat your heart out Brad Pitt.
I’ll do this, I’ll do that, someday, somehow.
But that’s not really life.
Life is today. Life is NOW.
Your elaborate plans for a fantastic existence will change and wilt but you will never forget the moments in life that you stop and savor for what they really are.
Life is your little boy making his first step.
It is your little girl losing her first tooth.
It is your mother’s hug or your Dad’s smile when you’ve accomplished a little milestone.
It is that incredibly special emotion you get when you see the look on someone’s face when you help them out of a dilemma or through a hurdle in their life.
Life is not about spotlights and flashing lightbulbs and bling.
It is about the beauty of real emotions, about precious fleeting moments, about love, about caring, about small things that make gigantic differences.
Slow down, get your head out of the clouds and realize that the exquisiteness of minute moments is how life is truly lived to the full.
Settling for fake emotions
Have you ever noticed that we live in a fucking fake world.
Conversations have become texted messages, words on a screen.
People are losing the ability to look one another in the eye.
Love has been bandied about so much, it has become a bumper sticker.
People say “I love you” and it is a hollow, meaningless shell.
Sex has become a currency, a bartering tool used to seal gossamer deals.
Honesty is a tagline on a business slogan.
With honesty becoming a legend, trust is undergoing a similar erosion.
Insecurity is a way of life, jealousy is rife and hate is the name of the game.
Is this really the way you want to live?
Get REAL again!
Learn to live.
Live to love.
Make every day about sheer exuberance and delight.
Enjoy the moment. Give your best. Share the love. Appreciate people.
Stay away from the vampires and stake all the zombies through the heart.
So there you have it!
A dozen options that will allow you to break free of today and move on to a better tomorrow.
All you need to do, is do one every day.
Can’t be that hard, can it?
Try it out and let me know how it changes your life.
Read more of Don’s blog here!